Messy. That one word describes how life felt this time last year. Christmas presents were replaced by moving boxes, and Christmas traditions came to a screeching halt! As a result it felt like all I could do was hang on, survive moving, and get through the Christmas season. (You can read about it here)
Thankfully this year is different! We have Christmas decorations up, I am looking forward to some free time with my children during the season, and we have reinstituted some of our favorite traditions!
As I take a look at the Christmas story this year, I see a side I have never reflected upon. Perhaps it is because this past year there is one word above all others that describes my relationship with the Lord. Trust.
This past year I have wrestled out my faith in a way I never have before. My wrestling of faith has centered around one main question. Do I truly trust the Lord? I don’t mean the generic, superficial level of trust that never causes us to question things. Instead it is the kind of wrestling that causes you to loose sleep, and want to abandon the path He has you on.
I have wrestled and questioned what I believe about the character of God. Is God a Father that can be trusted? Does He really have a plan? Has He led us this far to abandon us? Do I trust the leading of His Spirit over my own instinct and intellectual ability? Can He really provide? Does He want to provide?
Yet as I find myself at the end of the year, I see the years worth of questions met with a story that I have known since my childhood.
By now you are probably wondering what in the world all of this has to do with the Christmas story? Well let me connect the dots for a minute.
As I look at Mary in Luke 1:46-55 I see how Mary not only viewed herself, but viewed God.
Luke 1:46-55 – And Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has looked on the humble estate of His servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for He who is mighty has done great things for me and holy is His name. And His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with His arm, He has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; He has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate; He has filled the hungry with good things and the rich He has sent away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of His mercy, as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to His offspring forever
As I read this passage, there was one phrase that stood out, “He has looked on the humble estate of His servant.”
This past year as I wrestled out my questions, I realized one important
key I was missing.
In fact if I truly want to be a servant then I must trust completely. It is simple.
When I trust the Lord completely without hesitation, I can follow Him because I am no longer worried about my daily needs, my reputation, my comfort, or my future. When I have relinquished these worries into the hands of God, then I am able to follow without second thoughts. It is only then that I can be a servant.
Mary describes the character of God in a very confident and intimate way. She proclaims His holiness and His strength, and tells what He has done with the proud. She knows the history of her people and recognizes herself as a servant. Is it any wonder that God chose her to carry within her the Savior of the world?
As I reflect upon this past year there is one thing I have learned. Until I can fully trust the Lord, my mind is constantly at war. I am like the person described in the book of James as “double minded.” One foot on the trust side and one foot on the look out for yourself side.
Mary and Joesph remind us that God desires a people who fully trust Him. We are to be His servants no matter how crazy the plan is, how inconvenient it is, or how messy and unchartered the course is. He is calling us all to a life of complete trust and faith in Him.
Sheila Fitzgerald says
Beautiful words, I so understand a season of change and trust. I have been through it serveral times but each journey has its’ own set of challenges. The not knowing when, where, how long, why, what is your plan, have we missed your plan and the questions goes on but all of the questions takes us to one place. The place of surrender, Lord I am your servant, you Lord are faithful, help me Lord to hold on to your hand tightly and trust you every step of the way because I am afraid to walk this journey without you. You Lord have the answer to every question and peace for all of my fears. “ I am pretty sure that I am talking to myself” lol Lots-of love and prayers, Merry Christmas 🎄
Elle says
I really enjoyed reading this ! I was just thinking how you had not posted in a while. The thing I have been processing over the Christmas season is how God prepared the way. I have to trust his timing and notice the preparation!